I'm eating all of the evidence.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
