Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
