playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
