All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
