remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I need a beard to bite.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
