i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
