I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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