but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Vodka?
Forever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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