im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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