It's Friday. Sex?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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