You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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