You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize