I want to have your abortion
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
