Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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