READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
