32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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