he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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