i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
