I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
