I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
