GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize