As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
