I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
