Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
