sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
