She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
