I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
