Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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