Who did Billy Mays play for?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Randomize
