Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
