Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
