that's an acceptable place to lick
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When are your genitals available?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
