ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
