what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
