We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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