so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
