he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
