I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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