you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
