tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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