I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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