Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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