My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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