If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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