dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
