she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
