im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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