YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
