The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
