I didn't shave. On purpose
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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